I MADE IT!!!!!

Okay - so here I am on a sleepless night at precisely 2.00 am GMT.  I was fine when I hopped into bed at 10.30.  I read for about half an hour and then felt ready to sleep.  Went out like a light but woke up an hour ago and just cannot get back.  So I thought I'd do a Blog Post to while away some time.  Hopefully when I finally go back to bed I can sleep until the alarm goes off at 5.45.  Whatever happens I will be fine till mid afternoon then I will doubtlessly be fighting to keep my eyes open at the day job.  Still I can cross that bridge when I get to it.  Right now I need to get my head clear and feel my eyes get heavy again.

So where was I last Blog Post - oh yeah - dentist.  You may be be surprised to hear that this dentophobe did attend the appointment on Friday and did have the troublesome tooth removed.  I actually walked in, filled out the form and waited for half an hour.  The lovely little nurse popped back to the waiting room a couple of times and each time I said "Don't worry.  I'm still here.  I haven't run away."  I actually felt surprisingly calm and serene about the whole thing!  When I finally met Ian - the dentist himself - (introducing myself as The Pathetic One who'd emailed) he shook my hand as if greeting an old business associate and asked about my bad experience when I was seven.  Finally I got into The Chair and he took a look.  Yes the tooth was badly decayed - did I want it taken out? Oh Yeah!  I'd got this far.  If I'd said no then, the tooth would still be there giving me a hard time!  So he took an x-ray then injected (quite a lot) of anaesthetic into my gum and after a while the entire right side of my face was completely without feeling.  That was when he removed the tooth.  Despite being rotten and as dead as a door nail, that tooth did not want to leave its warm bed and took some persuading.  But Ian knew his stuff and, at last, the stubborn little blighter popped free of its moorings and wound up in a dish.  It looked disgusting and I was glad then that I'd decided to get rid of it.  Both he and Carley congratulated me on seeing it through.  Ian said that despite the fact I hadn't been anywhere near a dentist for almost ten years, the rest of my teeth are pretty strong and healthy - I just need a couple of filling now - and a polish (sounds like we're talking about a car).

Two days later, there is still some aching in the jaw but I am hoping that is because of the amount of novocane (or whatever it was) he used and the fact my jaw was wide open for almost an hour.  If the aching has not subsided in another day or two, I will drop him another email and see what he thinks.  Where the tooth was feels ok but further back is still tender - so we shall see.

So - are you proud of me?  I'm quite proud of me, I must admit because I seriously never thought I'd see the inside of a dental surgery again.  Pray note this historic date - 16th October - the day the world's biggest coward went to the dentist ...

If I Must ... I Must ...

Toothache.  That one word triggers horrors for me.  The discomfort I can put up with.  But going to the dentist requires strength and courage that is hard to find.  I am sure this stems from a visit to the dentist when I was seven or eight years old.  Up till then dentists had seemed as normal to me as visiting the doctor or going to the clinic for your childhood vaccinations.  But on this particular occasion, the dentist in question decided to give me several fillings at one sitting.  I cried throughout the entire procedure and ever since have avoided going unless it is an absolute emergency.  Well, as much as I hate to admit it, for the past week I have had that emergency.  Today I will bite the bullet ... a particularly appropriate phrase considering my situation ... and book myself in.

I went to the doctor last night to get some antibiotics because I thought there must be an infection which ought to be cleared up before I take the next step.  Ever since last Friday when I realised I had a problem (I am not in agony, by the way, just achy), I have been trying to find a local dentist who I liked the sound of.  Someone who will understand my phobia and help me through it.  I found one and he has been an angel already - and that is just by email!  The doctor last night (it was not my usual one and I was not comfortable with her anyway) said to me - quite without compassion -  "There is no infection there - just a rotten tooth that needs pulling."  Charming lady.  "Go to the emergency walk in centre and get it sorted," she said.  When I got home - totally disillusioned with this particular doctor - I looked up the local emergency walk in centre.  The first review that sprang out at me read the emergency dentist was patronising and unhelpful.  So I am going back to my angel.

When my experience is over, I will come back to you and write about writing again.  Till then, wish me luck  - I am going to need it.

Promises Promises

Made the decision today to make a promise to myself every single day.  I might promise myself a treat, or to do some writing, or to do a good deed or  - well - anything.  Small promises.  Big promises.  If I promise something, I will ensure I keep that promise - no matter who it is for - otherwise I am letting myself down.  So today my promise was to buy a book - either a new one, a second hand one, a remaindered one, writing one - any kind of book.  And I did.  What is more I bought a book I have never heard of before by an author who is a complete mystery to me.  But it felt right.  And - as Ollivander says in Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone "The wand chooses the wizard Mister Potter ..." - so I felt that the book also chooses its reader. 

I have so lost my mojo since my mother passed away.  I am still trying to come out the other side so Positive Thinking is currently my thing - either reading a Positive Thinking Book (Og mandino's The Choice ... Rhonda Byrne's The Secret ...) or hunting down Positive Phrases - and today's book is just such a volume - The Source by Ursula James.  I will let you know how I get on with it.

Had another excellent Young Writer session on Saturday (that reminds me - must email my guest writer to confirm a date) and I am setting my six and seven year olds to write stories using trigger words or sentences - and charging my 11 year old to become my (unofficial) deputy.  Last week's sentence was And with a grin, she turned the corner and was never seen again  as the closing line.  That got them thinking.  Even more so when the assignment I set was the same sentence, slightly altered - to open a story.  I love the looks on their faces when I come up with something like this.  I can almost see the cogs turning as their creative juices kick in.  And whatever it is they always manage to come up with something. Honestly - they never cease to amaze me ...