Today at the coffee shop, the lady in front of me in the queue, asked the barrista for a cup of hot water, sat down at an outside table - and promptly added some instant coffee granules from a jar. I'm not sure if she should be pitied or applauded but it made me smile and that is the important thing.
Had a terrible day yesterday. I couldn't concentrate. Kept thinking of all the what-ifs and
if-onlys. I just could not get my act together at all. Mum was on my mind every second. It was almost (somewhat spookily) as if she was sitting there right beside me the whole day! It was probably the Day Of Realization which had been previously brushed aside as all the arrangements were made and we were all darting about everywhere. Now there is no darting about to do; no arrangements to be made - it is just life going on exactly as it did before - except of course that she isn't there, calming and serene in the background.
In the end I went to speak to my manager (at the day job) who, I hasten to add, has been the essence of kind understanding right from the off. Told her I know I haven't been myself and have been under-performing and zoned out. She listened and reassured. And, after chatting with her I did feel better and today I am feeling just a bit of my old spark - hence the anecdote about the coffee shop which opened today's blog.
And - get this - I fished out The Epic this morning.....